Well, maybe this is bit more than a self help or something else.
It’s personal dialogue.
I’ve had countless relationships.
Many Many friends been with me.
I tried to forge relationships thinking someone would click, someone would think like I think.
I just hope this poem depicts its true possible thoughts which I have now.
It’s an Extempore type thing.
I had dinners and lunches with you
But, my appetite for intimacy wasn’t there with you.
I don’t know.
Why I couldn’t click with you.
Just our thoughts always ended in a different way.
You’ll always praised for my thinking and my words.
You liked my manners and etiquettes.
But, at the end of day.
We couldn’t connect.
I could make you laugh.
I could also make you stare in my eyes for quite long.
But, still we couldn’t stare at each other’s perspectives.
I know you liked me.
I thought you were good too.
But, how could I compromise with my values.
I know you did realise that I was right.
I thought rightly and deeply.
But, when time came for you to think deeply and practice it diligently.
You ran away.
And, how could I say.
That, I loved you.
When you ran away from those values that I valued the most.
Yes. I could have got a title.
That we’re couples.
But, how long?
How long are disagreements would surface and make us come in reality again.
Tell us on our face that we’re not made for each other.
How late it would be.
Yes, it’s tough for me to leave you.
Maybe I won’t have no one to talk and to go out with.
But, Is loneliness better or False love?
I know that you would remain single and do remember me for whom I was.
Maybe come into another relationship and still see how good I was.
But, it was never about who was superior.
Always about who could connect.
I thought after you.
That someone else would connect but the only thing connected was similarity between you and her.
I don’t know why I think like this.
Why I don’t compromise and stay happy with whatever I get.
But, why should I?
Maybe I would be happy.
Just if you could think the way I think, believe on what I believe and feel like I feel.
Having failed in so many unconnected relations.
I finally want to do something good with my life.
Yes. I will look for someone.
With whom I know how it feels to be connected.
Like Moon and Earth.
Always far but still connected through an invisible force.
The force that no human could ever reckon with”
I don’t know if this makes sense or not.
But, this has been my life.
I have had many relationships.
But, always felt unconnected.
I don’t know who’s strange the world or me.
Image credits : other perspectives.